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...while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:
-- Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
-- Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,'Code 3' in house wares ..... and see what happens.
-- Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M and M's on layaway.
-- Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
-- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
-- While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
-- Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
-- In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
-- Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"
-- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"